You’ve probably heard this question before:

If you could go back and tell your 16 year old self something, what would it be?

It’s a great question and fun to think about.

But I’m intersted in why it’s a good question. I think it is because our present is our past’s future.

That’s not just a clever play on words. It’s an important part of our goal on The Beauty and Brevity. It’s a realization that intentional living leads to a certain future, and unintentional living leads to another. It’s up to you in which path you’d like to be on. We want to encourage the intentional path.

One of my favorite episodes of How I Met Your Mother is “Time Travelers.” It comes a few episodes before the end of season 8 and the introduction of the mother. It’s pivotal and touching episode; and, as a Billy Joel fan, has the best ever rendition of “The Longest Time.”

In the episode, Barney is trying to convince Ted to go out to see Robots vs Wrestlers that night. To convince him, 20 years from now Barney shows up and talks about how legendary it is. He’s joined by 20 years from now Ted saying the same thing. But just as they get up they are stopped by 20 hours from now Ted who is royally hungover and doesn’t want Ted to go. It’s a really fun play on getting a chance to ask our future selves what decision we should make.

And sure, we don’t actually get the chance to meet the real life us, in a sense. But since the future us is just us after we make (or don’t make) a few more decisions, it is helpful to think about. Maybe it’s about time we sat down with our past and future selves and have a little conversation.

Because our present is our past’s future, we sometimes want to go back to our younger self and strangle them (or pat them on the back) for something they did or didn’t do. When you take a moment to think about it, what things do you wish you would have started 5 years or 10 years ago? Saving for retirement? Losing that extra weight? Yet here you are today, maybe not having started those things (or just now starting them but being behind the ball).

I’ll give you an example from my own life. My past self liked to eat a lot of sugar and bread products. My past self spent a lot of time being inactive and eating a lot (so inactive some days that I would bring the toaster out into the living room to make cinnamon-sugar bread… with the whole loaf!) Present me, being past me’s future self, is now dealing with health issues and body image issues that could have been avoided.

We aren’t reflecting on this stuff to just start a pity party. It’s an important step in being honest with ourselves, and assessing our present self as we look forward to our future.

Because if we can look back, we can also look forward.

It’s one thing to ask yourself, “where do I want to be in 5 years?” It’s another to think about yourself AS your future self. The feelings that you feel about your past self currently, do you want to feel those again in 5 years? Maybe instead think about what it feels like to have lost that weight? Or what it feels like to be out of debt? Or to be able to travel the world in retirement? What about how would it feel to be in a healthier relationship than you are now? Can you imagine a lower stress level in your job?

We are to our past what are future will be to our present.

When we start imagining our future self in the same way we exist in our present self today, we are trying to find the motivation and desire to live in an intentional way to reach our goals.

Some people are naturally gifted in thinking this way. Jessica is great about seeing where she wants to be and working hard toward that goal. I’ve always been a little more lax in this area but have learned a lot over the last many years. This exercise helps me.

Realizing the truth that my future self is dependent on the actions I chose to make today helps me focus more on my goals (and less on that cinnamon-sugar bread).

Future Andy has a place he wants to be in – and strong feelings about being there; and unless I take the steps to start that journey today he will never get there. And I know he will be a much happier person if I do.

I would love to hear from you: leave a comment and tell me what your future self would like to feel or experience five years from now. Describe the life your future self will want to be living.

And keep your eyes open; soon we’ll be releasing a free course helping to break down the steps of moving forward in living a more intentional life. If you haven’t already, sign up for the newsletter at the top of bottom of this page.