*This can obviously be a controversial subject and my goal is not to talk about that as much as what we can individually learn from it. Bear with me and I hope that you’ll find we ALL have something we can learn from here…*

A pediatric doctor in Michigan didn’t show up to an appointment for a new child because the parents are a same-sex couple. You can read the full story from the local news channel here.

The doctor stated, “After much prayer following your prenatal [appointment], I felt that I would not be able to develop the personal patient-doctor relationships that I normally do with my patients.”

Let’s think about that for a moment: a doctor, who is to care for the child, is uncomfortable with the child having two female parents because she won’t be able to have a personal patient-doctor relationship with them. I get that she will be working with the parents (they are the ones who can talk after all…) But why can’t she work with them?

She doesn’t think she can because they are different. In one main way. Not every way.

They are all women. They all care about kids. They all have hair, have a job, eat, poop, laugh, exercise, have dreams, friends, desires, metabolic processes, nicknames, inside jokes, beds, histories, hands, beating hearts.

But in one way they are different. And that’s scary to the doctor. It might be to you too.

Legally, she’s in the right in Michigan and can state that she doesn’t want to treat them. There is no protection for the couple. And there is a rule, according to the AMA to deny treatment to certain patients.

She’s inferring it’s about her faith (when she talks about praying about it) but I don’t believe the heart of the matter is about her faith.

If this was a matter of faith, this doctor would be uncomfortable with anyone who is greedy, who is angry, who is bitter. But I bet she treats those patients. In fact, her faith story talks a lot about breaking down the boundaries of the other, of the alien.

This is where it impacts all of us and where we can learn from this.

We fear what we don’t understand. But we are all the same.

We don’t like the “other” because they are sooooooo very different from us. They might talk differently, dress differently, eat food we don’t eat. But they aren’t different, we are all the same.

Some of us like wine, some beer. Some candy, some fruits. Some guys, some girls.

She’s afraid. I’m guessing she doesn’t have people in her life who are in the LGBT community. And if they are in her life, I have a feeling she doesn’t know it (or know them well).

The same goes for many of us when we think about people of different cultures or religions. They might scare us. Why? Because we don’t understand them. We don’t understand why they bow this way, or say this thing, or eat that.

We are all the same, my friends. The people living on the other side of the world and the people living next door. We are all the same species, the same flesh and blood. And we need to, for the sake of each other and the world, find ways to branch out and get to know the “other” otherwise we will continue to compartmentalize, to hate, to bring battles or wars (in courts or on killing fields).

I feel so bad for this doctor. She passed up an opportunity to grow and become a better person for it. I don’t wish her ill – I really want people to get to know her and understand her so we can learn from her (and hopefully she can learn from her mistakes). Because we all make mistakes. Because we are all the same after all.

So what can we do about this in our own life?

Locally, Jessica and I have had the opportunity to sit down with people of many different faiths to learn about them and their culture. I’m not looking to be part of another faith, I’m just looking to understand it. To build bridges between their lives and ours.

There is a local Hindu temple that serves lunch each week and, to be honest, I’ve been putting off a visit there on Sunday. I need to get there, I need to get to know my neighbors and share life over some food.

Breaking bread together – sharing food – the best way to get to know people.

Also travel has been a big way I’ve grown in this area.

I’ve been thankful to travel to many parts of the worlds and experience different cultures, different foods, different levels of poverty and excess. There’s nothing like seeing the excess that is Vegas and then going and spending time in rural and poor Guatemala and using a pit toilet for a week (which is where I met the women pictured above – probably the most hospitality that’s ever been shown to me, but more on that later).

The more I’ve traveled, the more comfortable I’ve felt with the “other” because we are all the same.

There are multiple options for cross-cultural experiences, many of them being volunteer experiences. I highly suggest you take up the opportunity when you can. Or even if you end up at some all-inclusive somewhere, try to find a way to be taken off the resort property to get to meet the locals, be in their houses, and share life for a bit.

You can also think about who is different from you at work, at school, on your block? Maybe someone who grew up on the “other side of the tracks” or maybe someone who comes from a different culture or subculture. Go ask them a question today, “I’d love to get to know more about you, can we grab a bite to eat sometime and chat?”

Why is this important? Because the world is full of beautiful things and people. Those willing to learn, to stretch, to get past fear, and to explore are going to experience so much more of that beauty.

Because when fear and hatred take root because of those unwilling to learn and grow and only see people as “other” this world becomes less beautiful as war and disconnection rule. I don’t want to live in that world. And because you’re like me, I’m guessing you don’t want to either.